Motionless
de Alexandra Brojbeanu
I light my cigarette. Nothing’s moving around me except the smoke which slowly disappears in the cold air, vanishing like a bad dream… It invades my lungs, it fills every cell of my body with a strange and comfortable numbness. Complete silence. I can’t even hear the clock ticking, only my eyes keep moving, staring at hidden stories written on the white, cold walls. I don’t even know where I am, and I don’t need to . No mirrors, no reflections, no distorted images reflected on broken pieces of glass. It’s just like taking the hand of the person you used to be and go for a walk…
Complete freedom.
How come we never stop to stare for a second at what we are? At what we have become? We fight to become someone, but somewhere on the road we lose our identity, we forget who we used to be, so at the end of the journey we don’t recognize ourselves anymore, we’re just a body with someone else’s soul in it. Complete strangers with who we were once.
I refuse to do the same thing. I want to be able to say that I have reached my destination with a soul, that I haven’t sold it in exchange for something I never wanted. I just want my soul to be happy. And I know just how to do it. Time is on my side, I’m on the right track. But just give me a motionless second…
Remember me? 
Bun, dar nu imi place „, I’m on the right track.”. Nu este in ton cu restul scrierii…
:*
Uhm, are we there yet ? No we aren’t,
Why do we have to reach a certain point in our life ? There’s nothing there. As we both know, the end of journey is death. (or not…who know’s what’s on the other side !?). I think „the destination” is always us…the self… cause we’re always present where we wish to be, except convicted people 🙂
„We forget who we used to be” – we used to be because it was a different time then, we are now because it’s present and we will become because we wish to…. for all I see, I think, yes, let’s not forget our past, because is part of identity and without identity we’re loosing it – but still this shouldn’t be part of regrets neither nostalgy just self approval for what we were and self improvement for what we wish to become. In conclusion: it’s ok to be different, to change from time to time, it’s part of evolution….nothing wrong with that.
I can see the break free wisdom here … and I like it…. just walk away from yourself….that’s very good if you want to search for something in you…if you have questions of your own and so on….
nice english skills too,
Matei.